It was almost 18 months from reporting it to actually getting to court. They were still collecting statements and evidence. I had to sign off access to my doctors, my primary school records, my phone, my email, my social media. It felt like no stone was left unturned in the process to prove I wasn’t lying. No part of your life feels private. Your soul is laid bare. I am quite a private person. I hated it. I hated them having so much access to my life but I kept saying it would all be worth it when he was in jail.
He had to be charged, then presented before court. I had given my statement in the January 2016. He was charged and brought before a magistrates court in January 2017. They set the trial for July. MORE WAITING.
By this time, my ROSA had gotten a new job so I was going at this alone. I had my husband, my mum and dad. But really it always left me feeling so lonely. No-one can really even understand the fear and panic you feel. I kept having nightmares he would find me.
The police aren’t really allowed to give you more then basic updates so there was months of real radio silence. You knew they were busy doing what they needed to do but with what – who knew.
Then the build up to court, I had to explain to work that I was going to be off (for how long I wasn’t sure) but it could be up to a week. So I arranged to be off for the full week. Then just days before – I was told I was going to be giving evidence on the Thursday so I wasn’t needed until then. I could travel up on the Wednesday and stay overnight for first thing Thursday. They asked me to bring my mum with me, but that my husband wasn’t being called as they would read his statement out.
Finally, my mum and I packed up our stuff (bringing extra clothes in case we were delayed for any reason) and we headed off. We got there early so we checked in and went for a walk. Trying to keep busy. filling time with nothing.
I didn’t sleep at all. I couldn’t sleep. The nerves where out of control. I felt sick. We made our way to court. I was so nervous I was going to see him and that I would panic and run him over. We parked up. Shaking and close to tears we were escorted into the court building.